I could easily take on secondary progressive multiple sclerosis as the primary definer of my self. I would rather see MS as an 'impactor', but not the who of me. But, so much of what I have done, what I have lost, and what I deal with every moment of every day is seen through the lens of MS. Separating the who of me from the illness seems as improbable as untangling a spiderweb.
- Wife, to John--20 years on June 18th
- Mother, to Braden--he is away at Bard College at Simon's Rock in SW Massachusetts
- Daughter to parents in Eugene and Veneta OR
- Sister to an older brother, in Cabot, VT
- Diagnosed with MS 9-years ago
- Diagnosed with Secondary Progressive 7-years ago
- Using an electric wheelchair--9 years, 4-years full-time
- Left wonderful job at the UofO 3 years ago--on full disability
I don't strive towards some brittle, barbie doll, pasted on smile version of the 'suffering Christian.' I desire a life full of compassion, humor, passion, pain--living the days that I have with as much joy as I can. And accepting that that may include kicking, screaming, pushing, whining, as well as fear and loneliness.
That is why I decided to write this blog--to explore the question of "Why do seemingly bad things occur," and "what is life like living with a rotten disease," and"How my faith in God doesn't guarantee some type of white picket fence, mini van driving, ranch house golden life. "
So, if anyone chooses to read along with me as I write this--don't expect perfect or pollyanna answers. Just one woman of faith who does her best from day to day to live with MS.