Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I Try to Imagine......

Recently, a dear friend's 8-year old nephew was miraculously healed. After a winter of terrible lung infection, his parents were told that 1/2 his lung was necrotic and needed to be removed. A day or so before the surgery was scheduled, a final CT scan was ordered and not a single trace of infection or necrotic tissue was found.
For me, this is so unbelievable and unexplainable that I can only attribute it to a miracle. That is the direct intervention of God into the everyday of one child's life. Now he can try out his much loved boogie board, and go back to the play world of an eight year old boy.
What if I woke up one morning and my legs were strong and could bear my weight--if I could sit up straight and use both of my arms.Oh, to be pain free! The docs would run another spinal tap and my results would be normal. I could sell my wheelchair on Ebay and my van could be traded in for a sporty custom painted purple and white Mini Cooper. It would have a custom license plate-IMHEALD. I could go back to work and the career I loved. It is almost impossible to imagine how my day-to-day world would change. Maybe I would try boogie boarding, I just don't know.
So much in my life just is the way it is that I no longer think about the old 'normal.' How long, after my miracle, before the wonder wears off and being well becomes just ordinary. Would I forget to be thankful to feel the ocean sand under my toes? Could peeling a carrot ever seem like a mindless task?
In an odd way, I welcome multiple sclerosis because it has forced me to work through the layers of what is truly important in my life. My faith, my family, my friends remain no matter whether these hands are able to perform simple tasks. What is deeply important to me does not vary based on the MS. I have the time to savor each moment of the day and find something meaningful in it. The 'old' me, the pre-MS me kept many balls in the air and spread herself far too thin. If I were to suddenly be made well my hope would be to stay as connected with the folks in my 'village,' and not let any barriers stand in the way.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey girlfriend. I've missed hanging out with you the last couple of weeks. I just wanted you to know I am reading your posts!! Love ya, Jill