or Someone Left My Brain Out in the Sun & it Melted
This won't be a long post, cause I just don't have it in me. I confess, I did too much and now I am paying for it. My brain feels like a head of cauliflower left in the steamer too long and my body feels like it is a wad of gum, left on the baking sidewalk and slowly melting into a pool of goo. I dislike summer--it has come to that. Outside my artificially cooled island, beckons the sun, blue skies, trips to the park or grocery store--all of the living that happens in Oregon during these few weeks of summer. I miss swimming, and gardening, and biking.
With MS, heat is a strict task master. The warmer my body temp the weaker I become and I don't have any way to predict or control to what extent I will be affected. Today I can transfer to the toilet, so far, but will my right leg give out the next time? My left leg gave up long ago. Heat also causes mental confusion. This morning my son took the lead on our weekly grocery store trip and when we got to the car to load groceries he asked me for the keys. I honestly had no idea what he was asking me for--my mind was a complete blank. Clue in brain-we are by the car, it has doors, they need to be unlocked, and I always carry the keys. But nothing, not one sliver of a clue to what he was saying. I just sat there. It is so utterly frustrating. Finally he reached into my bag and grabbed them. Then I got it--keys, car, duh! The off button gets switched and I can't turn it back on.
In many ways, on these hot summer days, my home becomes a safety zone and a prison. I didn't fully understand how much heat affected me until I moved into central air conditioning two years ago. Looking back, pre AC, I usually had a major exacerbation every summer-most of the months of July and August. Now, if I stay indoors the overheating cycle only happens when I give in to the lure of the summer sun or to living my life (groceries, church, etc.).
Summer, bah humbug--give me rain and cool grey skies anytime!