Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Inspiring words.....

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therein to be content

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars or sailed an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.

Helen Keller

Fall in Oregon is my favorite season-not too hot or too cold, as Goldilocks famously said, 'Just Right.' I sit, curled up in my comfy bed, looking up at blue sky the color of joy and try to swim my way through the murky waters of illness and depression.
It would be great to sit down with Ms. Keller and explore the challenge of living purposefully and authentically within the boundaries of blindness or, in my case, MS. I
assume that my 'shiny happy people,' (REM lyric) face is required for entry into the world--no matter what my circumstances or the cost of hiding. Not, to the outside world, necessarily a bad way to be. It is as if I am coated with a mirrored surface that reflects one image to the world and another inward.
Finding an authentic balance between the extremes of 'I am perfectly fine' with 'I am wallowing in pig muck,' isn't easy or natural. I don't want to the sad sack all the time or the chubby barbie doll clown on wheels.
I strive to be brave, wise, real, and noble. But, does that mean I can't be real? Still figuring this out. For now, I will look to words of encouragement from Helen, or Milton, and scripture.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something. (Psalm139)


Have Myelin? said...

"Finding an authentic balance between the extremes of 'I am perfectly fine' with 'I am wallowing in pig muck,' isn't easy or natural." Boy did that ever hit home!

This morning that very same conversation took place and I blurted out "What do you want me to say, I feel like dog crap so no I'm not going"? To me it feels kinder to say something else but I to struggle to find that balance.

I do a lot of "white lying". I say stuff like "You look like you need time alone" or if I know they are tired I try to come up with something like "You look kind of tired, why don't we stay home and ...." I'd never tell someone they look tired unless they do!

Glad to have found your blog. =)

Anonymous said...

Janine, thank you for hearing God and translating His grace to me. This quote from Helen Keller is gospel. At the beginning of this week, when I went back to being ready to start a new year, I wrote on my kitchen whiteboard: I will not go toward that which makes me safe.

Who knew how appropriate this would be. God. I love reading your wisdom and humanity. Thank you.